Bullies are a Bummer
Steph from Team Elizabeth is back with some words about anti-bullying for National Anti-Bullying Month. I started this website as a way to create a positive space so this message is really important to me. Read it and let’s come up with ways that we can continue to make sure that we’re a positive influence on other human beings. Xx EB
As someone who has always been (chubby/overwight/curvy/fat pick your adjective) I was subjected to a lot of bullying as a kid. I had one thing to my advantage: I knew I was smart. I knew that one day I would be more successful than those jerk bags. And I’d like to think that I’m on my way.
And I guess as the adage goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So I developed thick skin, as did the journalist in this video. But what happens to those who don’t? The alternative is pretty grim.
Bullying is a universal issue and with the internet now adding a layer of anonymity to the situation, it’s even more important than ever to take measures against it. Statistics say that 42% of kids have been bullied while online. That’s intolerable. And that’s why I wanted to talk about bullying for National Anti-Bullying Month.
“But I’m not a bully, Steph. I’m __ years old. This sucks, but it doesn’t really apply to me.”
This applies to everyone. Every day we make choices to be a positive influence, or not. To be a good example, or not. We can’t continue to let negativity be the norm. We can’t let the Nikki Finkes of the world tell us what we can and can’t achieve. We have to create an environment where the chubby, the weird, the beautiful, the nerdy, and the smart people all feel inspired to be whoever and whatever they want to be. Some of the weirdest people create the best movies. Pretty and ugly women can both be funny. It’s not a competition guys. We’re all on this weird blue marble together.
What can you do to help be a positive influence against bullying?
Share your ideas in the comments.
Photo source: Kevin Gill via flickr.com
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11 comments
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I went to a Catholic grammar school in a Chicago suburb, Berwyn, in the late 1940's and 1950's. Some of the boys in the grades ahead of me liked to bully younger boys.
One boy -- let's call him Larry because that, in fact, was his first name -- was one year ahead of me, an altar boy, and lived one block from school. He loved to bully younger boys.
I rode my bike to and from school, always passing Larry's house. Larry was always picking on younger kids, but he never bothered me until one day when Larry and his younger brother were playing by their garage driveway. As I rode by, Larry took out his bull whip, hit me with it very hard, and pulled me off my bike.
As I stood up, I pulled the whip, and Larry, toward me, feeling pain shoot through my right arm. Larry was pulling the whip toward himself, but I was pulling harder than him. When Larry was close enough, I kicked him in his balls as hard as I could!
Larry began crying his eyes out. He ran inside with his bother following closely behind.
Larry's mom reported me to the principal, who called my parents and told them to meet with me in her office late the next day. She began by saying that Larry was an outstanding pupil and altar boy. Then she asked to hear my side of the story. I told it. My Dad said to me, in front of the principal, that I should always fight back if Larry or anyone else ever picked on me again.
The principal then called Larry and his parents into her office and asked me to repeat my side of the story. I did. She then ordered Larry to stay away from me for as long as we were in school. Larry never bothered me again.
Nor did anyone else.
George Spink -
http://thesupportblog.tumblr.com/
Blog link. :)
Early days.
Haven't gotten round to making a good theme yet, so it looks a little... bland. -
Thanks to all you guys - I'm glad that you like the post!
@Elvira - thanks for introducing me to the 'Challenge day' organization. I think that's a great place to start.
@Tammy You're right. I think if we all took a little more time listening to the people around us, SO many world problems would be solved.
@Ellie I LOVE your blog idea! Post your link here?
@Vicki I totally agree. People can hide online and maybe say things they wouldn't say face-to-face. If we can take away that "mask," it will be more difficult for people to bully. I know sometimes speaking up to bullies can have negative reactions too, though...
@TT That's awesome that you do that! Something that seems small can make the biggest difference.
@Andrada Speaking up is tough and in some situations, can make the bullying worst. I also found my "niche" with extracurriculars and I think that's how to make it through the "tougher" years. Thanks for overcoming that BS and being awesome!
@Alfred You're right--oftentimes the bullies don't want to change. Sometimes they themselves are suffering from issues and make themselves feel better by tearing other people down. You are awesome. Keep spreading the positivity! -
This is one of most important and remarkable posts at these entertaining blog.
People who spread negativity to other people are not happy people. They project the things they have inside of them to other people and judge constantly. They don't have empathy and empathy it´s one of the keys to happiness. A happines who that people are searching desperately.
I see, as Elizabeth and other people here can see, negativity at my work but, too, I see people who are nice. The problem with the negative people is that, in many cases, they don´t want to learn how to be a more positive person. They prefer to bother people instead of try to be a better person and they seem offended by positive people...
I suffered some kind of bullyng when I was a child, but that made me stronger and smarter, and taught that in life we must be around positive people and stay away from certain people. But I knew certain people that were more fragile and were bullied and the thing that scares me is that they are doing the same that they suffered with other people...
It is impossible to solve all these problems but we must try to give positive ways to the other human beings. Life can be great if you give positive messages to other human beings. -
This is such a great article! As someone who has been bullied from a young age I understand where this is coming from. In my opinion social media has a major impact on this. If you're not a size 0, have flawless skin and the face of a model then you're not good enough? Who gets the right to judge our appearance and on what factors? How are kids nowadays supposed to be confident when all they see is this.
I have been bullied since the age of 10 for being chubbier than the rest of the kids, and for having a lisp. I became this shy person who never went out, rarely talked to people, didn't really have an opinion. I didn't even tell my family, I kept it to myself and maybe that was my biggest mistake. What helped me and a great deal was starting volunteering about halfway through high school. That and taking extra curricular activities, like choir, and photography. Several years later and I now see myself as a completely changed person, much more confident and who always speaks up her mind. I guess I was one of the lucky ones for managing to overcome everything. And I've never had to deal with online bullying either.
I have a huge amount of respect for everyone who stands up to this and wants to make a change and help others see themselves as what they truly are: beautiful in every way! -
I grew up in Los Angeles, there was not much bullying in my school. I think it's because I went to a music academy, where EVERYONE was different. Imagine a school for kids like the one's in GLEE. But when I hear about the kids that get bullied I just want to do anything and everything to help. I am on a few different forum's and I have become almost like a big sister to a few kids, one's who constantly get bullied. I talk them through whatever they need to get through, assure them that it DOES get better. It makes me feel good to offer up some encouraging words to these kids. I just feel aweful for them. I would love to start an organization to help these kids everywhere, I just don't know HOW to start it. Anyway, I appreciate when people go out of their way to stop bullying. It breaks my heart that some humans can be SO mean........ -
This is really a great article. With the soaring popularity of social media sites, I believe that bullies are beginning to feel a sense of immunity from their actions because a lot of it is now occurring from behind a screen. I think that a good trick to remedying the sort of online bullying that is popular today is taking that idea of that protection away from them. If you don't like something someone posts and you are offended by it, SPEAK UP. Getting them to feel a sense of insecurity about their bullying/hateful remarks is the first step to getting them to consider the consequences their actions have on others. Let them know that people are reading what they write and that it is reflecting badly on them. -
I know it's nothing huge, especially not just yet, but I recently started up a Tumblr blog called "The Support Blog" that I want people to see as just a place where they can have someone to talk to. I have a lot of friends on there especially that always say they feel alone. I wanted people to know they're not. I hope people want to use it. I like to keep it anonymous if people prefer that. I like to think it can be something positive for anyone who chooses to use it.
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I wish I knew how to answer this. I have personally experienced myself. Both myself and my oldest daughter have been bullied. I just wish people would pay more attention and listen to the people who are on the receiving end of the bullying and maybe just maybe we wouldn't have some of these kids committing suicide. People aren't listening until it's to late. If we would all just pay attention to the cries for help maybe we could all stop this bullying. -
First of all I wanna tell you that I think this post is great!
I don't really know how to help, but I'm a really big supporter of the 'Challenge day' organization. I think its has to be done at every high school! All over the world!
