Let's Talk: To Kid or Not to Kid?
You used to cruise in your cute little Smart, Fiat, Mini, (insert cute little micro machine car name here) but then you get married and have a kid. And then you have friends that own minivans. And then those friends tell you that soon you'll have a minivan. And then you consider not being friends with them but then, you start to see the positives of minivans. Like those fancy sliding doors. And DVD players. And then, you see this coming, you get a minivan. And then you order stick figure decals of your family and then you put them on your back windshield. Do you even recognize yourself in the rear view anymore?
Aside from this xkcd webcomic (and all their others) making me smile, I was reminded of this crazy study I’ve been hearing a lot about. You know, the one about how couples that have kids are less happy than couples that don’t? Things could get heated if I went into it, so if you haven’t read these studies go here and here to read what scientists say about them kiddos.
Thoughts? To kid or not to kid, folks?
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19 comments
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My son is almost 1 year old, and my life is entirely different. I love him so much and I am so thankful to have him. So many people when they have children turn around and blame the poor thing for their lives changing and all of the money they have to spend on baby clothes and diapers and college--it drives me crazy. We adults made the choice to bring the kids into the world (or made the choice that LED to the kids), and that child doesn't owe us one single thing in return. We birthed him, we OWE HIM a good, honest life.
And it drives me crazy when people say they love my child as much as I do--in no known universe could that ever be true, believe me. -
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Please wait until you are ready, but your child would be a gift to the world. Nothing feels better than watching them laugh, grow and love. Such a blessing.
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I have a 2 year old son and just split with his father, and have since realized that it was my marriage that was making me unhappy, and the son me and my former spouse had together was the best thing about our relationship. Kids aren't for everyone, but my son has kept me grounded and made me want to be a better person so that I can be a good role model for him. And just like ChickP said, just because you have a kid, or several doesn't mean your life is over, it's just a new begining.
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I have two children, now grown, and are happy to have had them. To understand the joy that the children give to parents, we must have them, and as much as possible live with them. The children are the continuation of ourselves. Van or minivan is not a problem. -
I have two kids, but I don't have a minivan. I don't ever want one....we have a Honda Fit and do just fine. Your life changes drastically, but it doesn't have to be OVER when you have a kid.
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Forgot to write this in my last post: could it be that couples who don't have kids are supposedly happier because they are more selfish with their time, and that couples who do have kids are too focused on what they don't have than what they do? -
My hubby and I have been married over three years, and we get this question all the time. Our answer is, "We'll have kids when we're darn well ready to have them, not when YOU'RE ready for us to have them." I think every couple needs to decide for themselves if they want kids and when. We want kids. We want them later. We think that will make us less bitchy about not having had our "freedom" first. And to top it off, we'd like to recommend choosing a Honda Fit or CR-V instead of a minivan.
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I find it interesting that the men are chiming in with their 2cents...As a mom of 3 boys and daycare provider to hundreds. There is definitely a line in the population, people who should and those who shouldn't. And it isn't always the ones who want to have children who get them and vice versa. I myself weigh many factors in this decision in my 20s I threw caution to the wind and went for it that's why I have 3 boys...Now I'm more calculated, do I have enough time, money, energy...It's all about sacrifice and if your willing enough to devote yourself to another human being for the rest of your life...I'm not certain...that ball is still dangling in the air, I still have time...
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Not kid. I'll never forget the exact moment, at 9 years old, when I realized I didn't want children. That's not to say I don't like kids; I treat my niece and nephew as though they are mine. But the thought of waking up pregnant one day, would be equivalent to waking up with a freaking horn coming out of my forehead.
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NEVER. Simple as that. Unless that is you want your life to be over as you know it. No more late nights out. No more relaxing vacations. No more friends who do not have kids of their own. No more cool cars or cars without food stuck between the seats. No more "running to the store" without having to pack up a small carry on. No more money or time. And be prepared to drive them everywhere. If you want to be a chauffeur you might as well get a job as a driver and get paid for it. I'm perfectly happy with my dog. But hey, to each his own. -
I know we'd have more money if my wife hadn't had a kid. We'd have more time to spend with each other also. We wouldn't be forced to have opposing schedules at work so that one of us was always home with our kid. We have no family to help with babysitting and he's autistic so we are home-schooling him. There would probably be less arguments in my home and more fun vacations without my son. But I wouldn't change anything from the way it is now, even knowing all that. My son is amazing and I'm more than happy that he is in my life. I have plenty of friends though, that I know will never have kids and it is a great choice for them. -
I can't wait to kid. Been trying for two years and I'll keep trying to kid till I get one... even if someone else gets to do the fun part for me and I adopt ;) -
Now that I am in my 40's. I am thinking not to kid.. LOL.. I am a father of 4 kids. It is very trying at times, more times than not to say the least. One needs to realize how much time is needed with kids, both finacially and physically.. So in keeping things short make sure you take time to decide.. Oh I almost forgot make sure you have fun "doing it".. Goodnight..
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I became a dad at 21. I had been with my girlfriend at the time for 3 years, high school sweethearts and all. I was scared. I didn't know what type of dad I would be, would I mess up? How bad? Will I disappoint myself? The day I met my daughter, I cried. I never cried, however, when I held her and saw her crying, I cried. I felt good, positive, confident and promised that I would do what ever I could to give her a good life. She is now 9 years old. I've taught her how to respect people, draw, work on classic cars, throw a Frisbee, hit a ball and take care of herself. I don't go out and get drunk on a Friday, instead we hang out, play games, order in and enjoy our time together. She is a good kid and one day, I won't be the guy she wants to spend all of her time with, so I enjoy my time with her now. She brightens the room whenever she enters it, she can make me laugh when the day has turned bad, she is kind hearted, compassionate and loves her family and animals. She has her temper and is passionate about how she feels. She is just like my wife in so many ways. At 20, I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't know what I would do with my life. At 30, I'm happy with our "surprise", more than happy. So for me, yes, kids indeed. I wouldn't change anything....
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U kid when it feels right... unless u have sort of greeat fear of beibg a bad parent or buying a minivan. There are lots of people that dont buy minivans and are still great with their kids. Actually my dad bought a minivan afyer I ent to college :)
