Shark Week Is About To Attack Your TV
Sharks fascinate me. They scare the bejeezus out of some, and why not? They are food chain toppers and totally badass. But make no mistake, humans kill way more sharks than the other way around. These beautiful fish deserve better.
Lets start with this:
Shark Week’s 25th Anniversary Kicks Off Sunday, August 12 at 9pm E/P on the Discovery Channel
In case you’re not rushing to DVR this right now, stop being stupid. These shark facts should convince you:
- Their scales are called “denticles.” Use that in a sentence.
- Their prey emits a sound called “yummy hum.” So, for your own safety, find out what that sounds like, and never make that sound.
- Female sharks can impregnate themselves. They are the Virgin Mary's of the sea.
- Tiger sharks have been known to enjoy an occasional gasoline tank. Just as a snack to prime their palettes for
humanfish flesh. - Great white sharks don’t close their eyes when they attack. No. They roll their eyes into the backs of their heads. Orgasmic eating. How sweet.
Check out more geeky TV with Comic Book Men!
Learn how endangered these incredible fish are here: earth.com/endangered-species-sharks. Show some respect and tune in to shark week. And never order shark. Karma is a vengeful shark.
What part of “Shark Week” are you looking forward to most?
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10 comments
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Sharks fascinate me too! I've always wanted to do a great white shark dive (in a cage of course) off of California. Maybe one day!
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I have been fascinated with sharks (especially Great Whites) since the I was a wide-eyed 11 year old watching the very first Shark Week with my dad. Jaws is one of my favorite movies, and I love to snorkel and play in the ocean - always watchful and doing my best not to look like a yummy seal, or emit a yummy hum! The guy who hunts sharks made my blood boil. There is much to love about Shark Week, but the fact that Mike Rowe narrates many of the shows doesn't hurt either ;) -
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I'm excited about the reenactments:
VO: That morning, Dave told his roommate that he was going for a swim...
GUY PLAYING SHARK 'ATTACK VICTIM DAVE': Bye, roomie! I'm going for a swim!
So, reenactments and you know... All of those sharks. :)
The Denticles is my new favorite band name. -
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Thank you for bringing awareness to the fact that sharks are endangered--and to never order it! very funny post as well:) -
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I love the preview they have been playing where the shark comes out of the tv. It excites, yet scares the bejesus out of me every time. -
I'm so glad this post is about sharks because I read the title of the email notification for this "Self-Impregnation, Yummy Hum and Denticles" and thought "I hope you're not speaking from personal experience." ;)
Hilarious post, by the way!
