Back To School: 5 Things to Tell Your Kid About College
Back to school. Whether you are sending off a 5-year-old to kindergarten or a 17-year-old to college, you want to impart as much wisdom as you can muster at this most important time. All kids need Robert Fulghum's sage advice: "All I Really Need to Know, I Learned In Kindergarten."
But the college-bound need a bit more. If you only get a chance to tell your kid five things about college, get practical (and talk quick!) or just send them this blog post (which is definitely less awkward):
- Always buy new underwear. It’s okay for you to skip sorting laundry, provided you are cool to be clad in all things grayish-red. You can even avoid the laundry altogether and continue buying clothes from the goodwill. But for the love of hygiene, never forgo clean, new underwear.
- Take advantage of your young metabolism. Every meal you eat should be scattered, smothered, or covered. In other words, what would Waffle House do? (Once you’ve reached the designated freshman 15, dismiss this rule.)
Try s'more-stuffed french toast!
- Don’t pee in public. Peeing in undesignated pee places happens. Especially when drinking is involved. Since drinking anything causes peeing (you added the alcohol to this bit, not me). Please fight the urge to do it in public. Those tickets are expensive, you could be registered as a sex offender, and you don’t want to have to explain why you need that kind of cash (bail) to your parents.
- Always know with whom you’re macking. College campuses are like little eco systems of raging hormones. However, make sure to exchange a few coherent words of introduction before getting too friendly with that hottie. It could easily be your roommate’s boyfriend, RA, or next semester’s professor. All of these lead to very bad situations.
- Call your parents. They’re worried sick about you—especially in your first year. In college, you need to call your mom/dad/parental figure every Sunday to assure them you are alive. This habit should continue into adulthood.
What do you think? Foolproof?
What else do people need to know to survive college?
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14 comments
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Regardless of how good the idea sounds at the time, scooters and dorm stairs never mix. Never!
Oh and the only true way to win a water fight at 3 in the morning is with garbage cans... recycling bins if you are eco-friendly. -
Are you nuts? Have you never heard of something called STDs? I'm not an old fart, but I am a moral one. Screwing as many people as you can puts you at risk for such lovely things as AIDS. Even though it is now a chronic disease, it is still potentially fatal.
Of course there is the gender difference. I may be an old fuddy-duddy but I've had intercourse with three men and SEX with only one. Three were my ex-husbands, the other...well...WOW! I actually got out of bed and applauded him, no kidding!
This just popped into my noggin: Two 4th grade girls were talking. One said, "Sex is a pain in the ass." The other one replied, "You're doing it wrong."
I've been celibate for over 20 years, as they say in Spanish "es todo, no mas, gracias." Then again I'm (ahem) mature enough to leave that part of my life in the past (I almost said behind me but...).
Seriously, promiscuous sex can be deadly. Think first. I have a bumper sticker that reads: Stop Abortions: Use Protection. Men are 100% responsible for all abortions, yet they are the ones who scream the loudest that a mere woman shouldn't be able to make the decision of what is best for her. MEN, if you don't want your sex mate having an abortion, use a condom. -
Always know with whom you’re macking.
I have photos from college of an old housemate, on a bed, with a man, she soon learned was a close friend's husband.
Then there was the time I was in bed with a friend when her married professor boyfriend called to say his wife - her major professor (grad school) had just found out.
It happens, be careful.
That said, have lots of sex with many different people while you are in college. That opportunity will never happen again. Once you start working you see the same people over and over, and then everyone starts getting married. Pretty soon you're 30 and there's no one left to mack with except unhappy married people who will never leave their spouses because of the kids, and you find you no longer have anything in common with all your old but now married friends - although they do want to bend your ear all night over drinks about what a shit their spouse is - and you realize that your once rad love life is over and from now until the day you die you will never get laid again. -
Leila said "It truly is the most free and fun time of your life..." That is the very reason that employers are shifting towards people who have gone to on-line universities. There is NOTHING wrong with fun; I still have fun but I've got a secret. I have never worked a day in my life. Oh, I worked alright, but if I couldn't look forward to going to work, I didn't do it. That is one of the secrets of not getting old when the calendar says you're getting old.
The last place I worked, I loved it so much and had such a PASSION for it that I'd get in early and leave late. I got paid to do what I wanted to do! How many folks can look at someone in the eye and say that truthfully?
Now that I am retired, I still put in a lot of time writing articles for magazines, newspapers...whoever will buy what I write or for who will pay me for specific articles.
The one thing I don't particularly appreciate is making friends and contacts in college can lead to the kind of cliques I've run into from time-to-time. Snobbery I can live without. Grins, y'all. -
Always have a DD(safety first), reliable drinking buddy, and hair holding buddy if drinking is going to be your night class Fri&Sat(10pm-3am). Always follow the on street parking patterns; your already paying for school why pay fines too. If you live where it snows a lot always keep a shovel in your trunk! Lake effect snow guarantees cars getting stuck in unplowed parking lots. -
As a college graduate, I can agree with all the suggestions considering that they're all helpful. However, now that I am older and a little wiser, I would suggest to incoming freshman to get involved early! Find a group or service project that you connect with and work hard to improve and grow the organization. Not only will you find a great group of friends that you can rely on through the good, bad, and UGLY- but you'll also add something to your resume that will continue to help you after graduation. It truly is the most free and fun time of your life, so you might as well make the most of it! -
Oh, if you go out wearing heels, stuff a pair of pumps in your bag. Your feet will be killing you by the end of the night. -
Good advices there! I'm going into my third year but I can honestly say that my first year was one of the best I've had so far. I think first year is all about letting it all go and experimenting college life. Then you start coming to your senses and realize that studying should be your first priority. But I definitely don't regret it, I enjoyed living on campus and that's where/when I got to meet some of my best friends!
Other things I can think of:
Don't steal any traffic signs or shopping trolleys, you would only clog your living area and it will be a hassle to return them at the end of term without getting caught (though we did use one shopping trolley as a makeshift rack since we had way too many coats and no place to put them).
If you have a little too much to drink, try and have some carbs to soak up the alcohol (you might regret it in the morning if you are dieting, but it will be worth it at the time) and have plenty of water before going to bed. Oh and place a glass of water on your nightstand, it will be your best friend in the morning.
I know everyone goes to lectures in UGG boots and PJ's after a rough night, but do try and make yourself look presentable, the lecturers will only lose respect for you and think you look ridiculous.
Don't make enemies with the RA folks, they will make your stay on campus a living hell if you do!
Pasta is not your best friend! There's other foods out there if you manage to ratio your money (though I did knew some students who had only rice and chocolate for a couple of weeks and are still among us; nevertheless, try not to follow their example). -
Phoebe, I don't know about the other person, but I'm basing what I said on personal experience. I still keep in touch with some of my class mates who were on my teams. Really great people. It did not hurt me at all that I had gone to an on-line college; it showed the folks in HR that although I was working full-time that I was serious enough of a student to go home after a long day and had the mental wherewithal to get both my Masters and Doctoral degrees on-line.
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That is fine, dankil13, you have every right to disagree with me, but I've a feeling that you are the product of campus life and therefor have a very biased opinion. Not knowing your age or your life's experience, I have to conclude that you're stuck in old thinking.
The proof of the pudding is in the fact that more and more companies are hiring on-line students because they are ALREADY responsible adults, working full-time AND going to college to improve their positions in life. That proves that they are already serious and committed to improving themselves. Kids on campus are at a definite disadvantage.
At this moment in time, methinks that we're both correct because we're in a time of transition, however, in just a few more years, more business people will want on-line students.
The nonsense that people have to go to a campus-based university in order to be a responsible person who can work with others is simply outdated thinking. On-line university students work in teams. Their teams may be in the United States or in any other country in the world.
Even though I am now retired, I recently have received two employment opportunities based on the fact that I earned my Ph.D. on-line. It killed me to turn them down, but a massive hemorrhagic stroke cost me all of my programming and math; I'm pretty useless at the current time and besides, I've other interests that keep me goine.
Good luck! -
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Beverly, I strongly disagree... part of the experience of going to college is experiencing campus life and learning how to become a responsible adult. Most of my best friends are from college, kids whom I would have never of met if I received my degree online. College introduced to people and cultures from other parts of the world that I didn't know existed.
Online degrees get preferential treatment? Not in the business world! As someone who has done plenty of hiring, I would not even consider a person who has an online undergraduate degree from Univ of Phoenix or other online institution. The real world is about being able to juggle your work and personal life commitments, and taking an online course when you have time to it does not equate. We also want candidates who are personable, work well with others, and aren't afraid to ask a question for fear of being looked upon as being "stupid", not hide behind a computer and email. -
Here's a better idea: Don't let them go to any off-line college. Why? Because more and more employers are becoming prone to giving on-line students from REPUTABLE universities, such as Phoenix, preferential treatment. Why? Students who are willing to actually LEARN what they're supposed to learn and not take spring breaks, summer vacations, etc. My 50 year-young niece who works full-time, just received her Masters in Psychology and is now going for her doctorate.
Comparing off-line college to on-line college, she admitted that on-line was harder and took more discipline than when she got her bachelors in political science at a four-year college.
The costs have zilch to do with anything, although when you consider that your kid will not have to pay for rent, food, etc. the cost is considerably lower than hot tailing it off to college.
My doctorate was a comparative breeze when thinking about a campus kind of education. It is possible to ask "stupid" questions with your professors because you don't have the peer pressure of having to keep your yap shut for fear of seeming stupid. Being able to email a prof or going on-line for a chat with one of 'em, made life MUCH easier and getting my "fud" was about 70% less expensive.
Plus, going back to getting a real job after graduation, keep in the front of your mind that employers will hire a graduate of an on-line university over a traditional campus life BECAUSE they know that the student had to be much more involved in his/her studies (which I was) and did not waste time getting hangovers. Or, for that matter, peeing in public.
Oh, one last thought: It was kinda nice being able to go to school while in my PJs when I didn't feel like getting dressed. Another thing is that I went back to school when I was in my mid-40s, I'd have felt foolish on campus. I can hear it now, "Hey, grannie, what you doing here?" -
All very good! I work on a college campus, so I see these every day. I think another good one would be to not wear your pajamas with UGG boots. That may as well be our campus uniform.
