Elizabeth Banks

Crista is another lovely lady from Team Elizabeth, obsessed with nail polish and defeating the undead. In preparation for Halloween and in celebration of the recent return of The Walking Dead, she’s getting into the nitty gritty of how to survive a Zombie apocalypse. Are you prepared? Xx EB

This weekend forget about enjoying the great outdoors or slamming mimosas at brunch–prepare yourself for a zombie apocalypse instead!

Now, don’t freak out, it’s not here yet. But with Florida giving us bath salts cannibalism scares and Halo Corps. real-life zombie training at their Annual Counter-Terrorism Summit in San Diego, one can never be too cautious. You could watch countless hours of AMC’s The Walking Dead and cross your fingers that your undead dodging skills will match those of federal workers who have dominated the 44-acre brain-eating pandemic course; Or, you can put on your game face and embrace the survival tips below. We all know what the smart thing to do is…so grab the nearest shovel, dust off your Nikes and let’s get going!

1. Seriously, get new running shoes! We’ve all seen Zack Snyder’s remake of Dawn of the Dead or Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later. If real zombies are anything like those portrayed in these films, then they will be Olympic runners! If you plan on staying ahead of the bloody mess, start thinking triathlon. Nothing will make you feel like more of a badass than out-hurdling a zombie.

2. Keep Sunscreen & ChapStick on hand. Vanity may be the farthest thing from your mind while you avoid getting bit, but excessive running is sure to dry out your lips and weather your skin. Wouldn’t you like to know you could survive the apocalypse and look the best you have in years–all fresh faced, fit, and primed for reproduction?

3. Sign up for a theater class. If you can master a strong leg drag, then you are in business. Zombies may be the bane of your existence during the end of days, but they’re not smart. If you can walk like them and do that sick grown that sounds like they just overate at a Las Vegas buffet, then you may deserve an Oscar for your “Best undead impersonation in a real life shit storm” performance.

4. Embrace your enemies. This is about survival, folks! If you want to make it in the end you need to know who you’re willing to throw in harms way, who is going to hold you back, and who can handle a bat like Barry Bonds. Friends or foes, you’ll need a strong team. There is no need to BBQ with your enemies, but sending a Someecard every once in awhile might do you some good. 

Am I missing essential skills? What would you do to prep for a zombie apocalypse?

Tell me in the comments below and if your suggestions are good, I may just owe you my life.

 Photo Credit: Getty Images, someecards.com